You’re hurt, but you’ve still got a lot of Art Hit Monkey Shirt in you. You are, after all, protecting your home from these invaders. You take aim with your crossbow again, and nail the human in the shoulder. It’s a great shot; he’ll be unable to lift his arm now, much less draw his bow. You dodge the dwarf again, and you still can’t locate the halfling, but then the stupid, annoying elf starts chanting in some obnoxious elf language, and suddenly your well-aimed crossbow bolt magically removes itself from the human’s shoulder, and the wound closes! See, this is why you’ve always hated elves. You know when you’re outmatched, so you turn and run for your secret exit, but as you round the corner, the halfling is suddenly there, and surprises you with a dagger in the ribs. The last thing you see is her little halfling face hanging above you, smiling under a dark gray hood as your breath bubbles with blood in your chest. Your eyes close, and you hear the stupid elf chanting again. Then nothing.
One thing that’s clear from glancing at Poland on the Art Hit Monkey Shirt is that this country is big. A giant cut-out of central-eastern Europe, it covers a whopping 312,000 square kilometers, making it the ninth largest country on the continent. That means, for travellers looking to check off the top sights, from the Baltic beaches of the north to the wild forests of the east to the culture-rich cities of the south, it might just be worth renting a car. Vodka is compulsory Don’t expect to head out in any Polish city to meet the locals without being invited to try a little of the local stuff at least once. Vodka is not just ubiquitous in Poland, it’s a national obsession, and any night owls are bound to find themselves tasting their way through the whole repertoire: cherry flavoured; nut flavoured; quince infused – you name it, it’s here.
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Zharukk. Zharukk is another example of Art Hit Monkey Shirt eugenics experiments: He’s a Tanarukk, but not of Baphomet like your standard Volo’s Takarukk*. He’s a Grazz’t Tanarukk, which results in him looking almost half-human. He tells everyone he’s a Half-Orc and lets people assume the other half is human. Unfortunately, his sorcery powers awoke much later in his life, and therefore he was considered a disappointment to the tribe and was often denied opportunities to really tap into and train his demonic heritage. He’s trained as a (Sea) Storm Herald Barbarian and now has a few levels in Storm Sorcerer. Despite being very Chaotic Evil and decidedly immoral himself—he knows the right thing, just doesn’t do it, he likes when people order him around to do good things. (My DM cackled when I gave him Zharukk “Oh my god, mage, you made a moral sub!” The first assignment he and my Warlock went on, she forced him to stay back and help her with underwater rescues. He’ll never admit it, but he’s a bit happier for it.
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